Dog's best friend
I wrote so much about dogs that this newsletter will get cut off in your email. Be sure to click "read in browser" at the top so you can see the whole thing.
I’M A FOOL FOR YOU
My best life decision yet
We gave up on crate training after a few days. I always thought you were supposed to train dogs to like their crates. We tried, but Les hated it and I couldn’t take it. So I let him sleep on the floor beside me. I’d hang my arm over the side of the bed, reaching down to pet his fluffy little head until he fell asleep (just to keep an eye on him—or rather, a hand).
In the mornings, I’d wake to find him lying quietly nearby, staring at me. Needless to say, we never asked him to sleep in a crate again.
Les is one of the great loves of my life.
Whether he imprinted on me and considers me his mother, or simply that I’m one of his pack, we’re in step, in sync, in rhythm. I know that having a dog is not like having a child (and sorry to all the people I’ll offend with this) but it is like he is my child. We talk about him when we’re away from him. I constantly recount (and repeat) stories about him that I find to be hilarious and charming. And I felt, when he was a puppy, that it was a great miracle I had kept him alive due to what seemed like his unshakeable desire to do the most horrifyingly dangerous, self-destructive things.
Never have I had a truer friend or more loyal companion. And I don’t think I’ve ever laughed more, either.
When I take Les out on errands with me, he’s very popular. A few weeks ago, while out shopping with my sisters at some small stores nearby, Les was making his rounds. From across a street and a parking lot, a woman beelined toward us with her partner and asked to pet him. We obliged. As she bent down to pet him, she said, loudly and sincerely, “I just love you so much!”
They had just met.
This is one of the wonderful things about dogs. They make us, the people who love them and love to be around them, out to be a little bit nuts. In no other context would we approach someone we’ve never met before and profess unbridled affection for their companion. Most people wouldn’t even do that to a cute baby. But with a dog, it’s okay. In fact, I welcomed it — I like when other people adore the thing that I adore.
Interacting with a dog is a rare sort of moment when love can be totally untempered. No one will judge you for your lavish displays of affection. Or, at least, it seems that no one cares if they will be judged for it. Perhaps its that we sense their automatic and unconditional love, so we know that our expression of affection won’t be met with indifference. I don’t think there’s such a thing as an indifferent dog.
Dogs must believe that most people are generally good (unless, of course, you ring the doorbell). Maybe that’s why we love them so much, because they — out of all the other creatures and people — seem to see us for who we are, at our core, and nothing else. When else do you experience such immediate, unquestioning validation and acceptance? They have a way of bringing out the most tender parts of people, turning serious and reserved people into their cooing, affectionate companions.
I often say that getting a dog was my best life decision, or at least in the top three. It’s true. It’s not an exaggeration. We got a dog because I always wanted one of my own and because I had spent much of the last few years laughing and crying at videos of dogs on the internet.
Mathematically, it probably didn’t make sense to get a dog. We were mostly broke, did not have a house (and did not know where we’d live next, since we were about to move) and it was still the pandemic. But, at 23, newly married, with a new job and fresh out of college, I was feeling an extra layer of restlessness on top of the anxiety I had always experienced in my life.
Getting Les gave me something to hold on to, something simple, anchoring and consistent. As I trained him each day of his puppyhood, I learned plenty about how dogs function but also about how I functioned too. When Les would get spooked by something, there was always a clear trigger or an origin moment I could trace it back to and see the pattern of stress. I learned to do this for myself and started to identify and manage, some patterns of anxiety.
It was also that having a dog requires you to be in the present moment. You can do nothing but oblige when a dog approaches, sits down in front of you and beseeches you for pets. You’re not going anywhere. And you will never again get away with skipping your daily exercise (walks).
He changed the pattern of my life for the better.
Les this beautiful, tender being in my care but I am in his care, too. We tend to each other, check in on each other and have our shared hobbies (walks, coffee shops, pestering dad).
We are one in the same — two overly affectionate, enthusiastic, excitable, well-meaning, clumsy, open-hearted, sometimes-nervous creatures who are utterly dependent on each other.
Like mother like son.
PEOPLE & THEIR DOGS
From Odysseus to Reagan and many in between
Lest you think a camera roll full of pet portraits is unique to this generation of smartphone carriers, I can assure you it’s not. I’ve browsed archives of historic photos and one thing is sure: People have been taking pictures with their dogs and of their dogs for decades. And, before that, dogs were beloved in stories, poems and art.
I’ve perused museum, magazine and state archives for you on this one. Let me show you what I’ve found.
Editorial note: Many of the photos I want to share with you require special licensing. In such cases, I’ve linked to those photos instead of embedding them. Please click on the bold text to be redirected to the image.
In Homer’s Odyssey, Odysseus returns to Ithaca after 20 years, disguised as a beggar. No one recognizes him except for his dog, Argos, whom he had trained as a puppy. It seems that even the ancient poet understood the character of dogs: longtime, forever faithful companions and the best greeters when you arrive home. (Here’s an excerpt from the Odyssey chronicling the story of Argos.)
I love the photos of old jazz stars and Hollywood icons with their pets. This one, above, shows the singer Billie Holiday with her dog, Mister. There are plenty more photos of celebrities and their dogs. Here’s Bette Davis for Life magazine and Audrey Hepburn and her dog, Mr. Famous, at Paramount Studios in 1956. And there’s a great photo of Grace Kelly and Jimmy Stewart with Rosemary Clooney’s great dane on the Paramount Studio lot in 1954.
Queen Victoria was known for her love of dogs and there are many portraits of her with pets over the years of her reign. And, of course, Queen Elizabeth II loved her corgis. You can see in this photo of the young Elizabeth with her family that the love must have begun at an early age.
Another example of notable Brits and their love of dogs: Here are The Rolling Stones in a photo by Michael Joseph taken in 1968. See on the right the band’s founder, Brian Jones, with what appears to be a golden retriever at his side. José will be pleased to see that goldens are rock and roll dogs.
And we’ll end with this one (above) because, of all the photos I perused for this newsletter, I liked this one most because it seems incredibly realistic. You could see this and safely assume that the dog, Lucky, has no concern that his owner is the president, nor that he is accompanied on his walk by a prime minister, but only that they are going on a walk.
STORIES ABOUT DOGS
In fashion, design, literature and news
Christian Dior’s dog, Bobby, was a source of inspiration for the designer—suits in his collections were named in tribute to the dog. “‘Each collection contained a suit earmarked for success called Bobby,’ Dior wrote in his memoirs.” (Read in Harper’s Bazaar.)
Do you allow dogs on the furniture? I love it. And top interior designers agree: it’s worth it. “It didn’t matter that they resided in some of the most stylishly appointed interiors and gardens you could ever imagine; the dogs were as welcome to sit and sleep wherever they pleased,” Susanna Salk, author of the book “At Home with Dogs and Their Designers.” (Read in Architectural Digest.)
In his book “Me Talk Pretty One Day” David Sedaris tells stories of his parents and their pets. I laughed so much listening to this recording. Of his parents’ great dane, Melina: “They loved this dog in proportion to its size, and soon their hearts had no room for anyone else. In terms of family, their six children had been nothing more than a failed experiment. Melina was the real thing. The dog was their first true common interest, and they loved it equally, each in their own way.” (Please do listen to the episode, you’ll love it. It’s Episode 639: Act I of This American Life.)
Can’t seem to get your dog to behave? Don’t stress. Presidents have a hard time with it, too. “He is a great fighter and craves trouble,” the newspaper wrote of Theodore Roosevelt’s “prized bull terrier,” Pete, who had bitten the leg of a Navy clerk and chased the French ambassador up a tree.” (Read the article in The New York Times.)
FOR A LAUGH
Just a few doc comics and sweet photo saves
It’s true. Science says dogs make us happier.
A man with his dog in Paris, France.
I’m sure Les says this about me.
I have the best dog. No question.
GOOD CHOICE: EMBROIDERED DOG COLLAR
For the goodest boy or girl
We bought Les this personalized velvet collar two years ago and we still love it. It’s from a great little shop on Etsy and comes in lots of colors. (Ours is in the shade “Williams blue.”) When it gets dirty, I let it soak in water with a little bit of laundry detergent and then rinse it off and hang it to dry. It does just fine.
NEXT WEEK
House projects and seasonal updates
We’ve done a very small but special house project I can’t wait to share with you next week. Other than that, let’s plan on a nice, cozy chat next week, one that wanders from one topic to the next—I’ll share what’s been on my mind.
All the best,
Mary Grace
So woofing good!